Individual psychotherapy is a unique relationship situation. Two people come together for the express purpose of helping one of them find new options, new solutions, a new path through the forest of his/her life.  In times past this role was filled by the shaman or the priest.  In modern life the psychotherapist has this privilege and responsibility.

In most cases the problems that cause people pain and confusion are really solutions they have invented to other, often forgotten or obscured problems in their lives.  And these solutions are not working.

We live our lives on the basis of meanings that we construct to explain things that we do, others do, or that just happen to us. These meanings are constructed from our historical experience, our intellect, our memories, and our biological and learned reactions.  That is why the same event can have a significantly different impact on two people -- or on the same person at two different times. When people seek therapy, it is because the meanings they are applying to events in their lives are not helping them, are maladaptive, or are producing inexplicable discomfort.

Learning this -- and then learning how to both let go of old meanings and develop new ones -- are not easy tasks. Human beings both seek change and resist it, usually resistance being the stronger and more desperate of the two opposing forces. The therapist’s job is to help people through the process of exploration, decision, and change.  He/She is not smarter or wiser or a guru with all the answers. Rather, he/she needs experience to be able to say, “This path, not that one, seems more promising at this point.” The therapist and the client must walk side-by-side in a collaborative effort.